My time here is quickly coming to a close. By the end of July, I will be finished at PSF and traveling home. So of course, this is a time of reflection as I think back on my last year. In so many ways it doesn’t seem like any time at all and in other ways, I feel as though I have been here forever. When I think back on being here, the things that I have done, the people I have met, I feel like I just got here. There are still so many people that I know, but just on the surface, people who I would like to get to know better. There are people that I meet and want to become better friends with, there are places that I want to visit or revisit. When I think of these things, I feel as though I have just touched down in Rwanda.
But when I think about family and friends at home, that is when I feel I have been away forever. Friends that are celebrating their wedding anniversaries, announcing births or engagements… missing these milestones is when I feel I have been gone far longer than a year. In no way do I want these things for myself, at least not yet (sorry Mom), but to miss them when other people are celebrating, it makes me think that I have been gone for so much, missed so much. So I have mixed feelings about coming home. I am excited to see family and friends, but I will miss this place dearly, miss the family and friends that I have made here.
I will miss the perfect weather, the gorgeous hills, the reserved but incredibly strong people, the generosity that they show us everyday. I won’t miss the stares, the cat calls, the cockroaches. I will miss the peacefulness and relaxation that comes with living simply, I will miss having time to cook meals and bake, run long distances and practice yoga. I won’t miss the boredom when these options are exhausted or the sense of being cheated that comes with negotiating transportation. I will miss the ease of travel and the opportunity to see incredible things, things that are just an hour away for me, but a lifetime away for other people. I will miss the sense that I am living an incredible adventure, even though for the most part it is as routine as the most average life in the US. I won’t miss feeling like everything here is just a little bit harder, takes a little bit longer, and requires a little more patience than anywhere else. Or maybe I will miss that. Because that reminds me how lucky I am, how lucky we all are, that our lives are so simple, so convenient. Maybe having to work a little bit harder for something, or having to wait a few more minutes for something, makes us harder working, kinder, more patient people. Maybe out of everything, the littlest daily challenges are what I will miss most. Maybe not… either way, I know I won’t miss the cockroaches.
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